Shadows Are Heavy

For Gary V, a lover of hip hop and rap.

(Entry for Vee Friends Sorcerer Scholarship)

Shadows are heavy 

And from them I do hide 

But always, they find me 

Revealed with the tides 

Of life’s tsunamis

Rhythms and rhymes 

I was foolish to believe I could outrun them

My life seemed done 

Edge of thirty ending 

That demon on my shoulder 

It was always trending 

When I flicked, it would scream 

A battle unrelenting 

My art bound inside locked tight 

At the end of my rope

With Madre, I had a meeting 

In “Heaven’s Casino” 

She gave to me a beating 

Submitted me to the edges 

Got me begging and screaming 

She cleaned out my foolish little life 

No longer addicted

I built a community 

“The Nest” became a hub

A house giving unity 

Amidst this epidemic 

Of loneliness and poverty

Proud, but something was amiss

Then pandemic hit 

We fought, got renovicted 

Friends segregated 

Depressed and loved ones listless 

The world put on pause 

Social alchemy, I missed it

Some mates, sinking ships I couldn’t rise 

Then I dipped down 

Before I went high 

From that old demon trending 

Couldn’t easily hide 

That familiar foul friend 

Whispers and connives 

“You thought you could outrun me.”

Shadows are heavy 

From them I try to hide 

But always, they find me 

Revealed with the tides 

Of life’s tsunamis

Rhythms and rhymes 

But the dark side is not what it seems

The brash bastion enters 

Jersey boy, Gary V

Manic with a message 

Of gratitude and positivity

Deployed to the max with 

Kindness and humility 

Is he for real or just a flash scam?

But that thing on the pod 

He said, it really hit me 

Been running my whole life 

From that demon that stalks me

Hide it away 

Don’t look at it, it’s ugly 

Rephrased, but here’s the gist of his words: 

“Shadows are heavy”

And from them you can’t hide 

But if them you befriend 

They’ll teach you 

And they’ll guide

You to see your unique strength  

Pull the wool from your eyes 

What you think is weakness is your strength 

And at that point I knew

I’d been living all wrong 

That old demon trending  

Was crushing my song

Other people’s opinions

Sought all my life long 

Why do they matter more than mine?

And when I saw that

The art poured out 

A galaxy of potential

It bled from my mouth 

All that was pent up 

In fear and in doubt 

Stormed the gates as mighty 

I want people to know 

That they’re never alone 

Befriend their demon trending 

The world, they can own 

Not in real estate or dollars 

But peace of mind, take the throne 

If you have a friend in your head you have won

So I suppose what I’m after  

Is mentorship and guidance 

From the “Maestro of Chaos”

‘cause he knows how to bridled it

I don’t got it all sorted 

But I’m bullish in finding it 

‘cause chaos seeking truth am I

Shadows are heavy 

And from them I can’t hide 

But always, they’ll find me 

Revealed with the tides 

Of life’s tsunamis

Rhythms and rhymes 

Now humbly, I’m spreading these words:

Shadows are heavy

And from them you can’t hide 

But if them you befriend 

They’ll teach you 

And they’ll guide 

You to see your unique strength  

Pull the wool from your eyes 

It’s you who decides you’re “worthy” 

Enter “Heaven’s Casino”